The Cobra Snake

You gave everyone on the team goofy nick names. They were all equally goofy so no one was being singled out. For example you referred to your manager as “Tubby Scrubs.”

You chose Cobra Snake for me. This is because my last name is Kobre and you made the observation that I puff up when I’m angry. 

Indecently, this happened nearly ten years ago.

I am more puffed up than I have ever been in my life. But, I’m getting ahead of myself.


In less than a month the inevitable happened. You called me and explained that I “definitely  had a job no matter what.”

I found this peculiar as I had not expected my employment to be terminated. Then you asked me if I wanted to get a margarita. You used the word date. I explained that while I did find you “attractive” I could “not date you because you” were “my boss.”

I told you that I would set you up with my friend. I specified that I would come on the date. As we were getting dressed she said “Engel, what I don’t understand is why I’m going on your date.”

It ended up being my date.

We agreed in advance that it was casual and for the summer only. You asked me if I would, “fall in love with you?”

I laughed and said no. I asked you if you would fire me if we had a fight. You laughed and said no. Throughout the summer it was routine for you to make sure that I was not falling in love with you. I would always explain that I found, “nothing more mortifying than the notion of bearing your children.”

You would laugh.

Indecently, I quite apologize for publishing this. I am publishing it because of the vigilante stunt that you pulled six years later. I think highly of your intellect. That was stupid. But I’m getting ahead of myself again.


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